Dear Curves evening-shift girl;
I know that if no one comes in after 7:00 that you can close early at 7:30 pm. I am sorry that I had the nerve to come in at 7:15 and work out for my full half an hour. I am sure you must have been anxious to get home to your leftover pizza and reality tv. But even though I was the only person working out, you are technically supposed to be open until 8:00 pm. Sighing dramatically and looking longingly at the clock will not make me leave any faster. Actually, just for you, I took an extra long time stretching out my hamstrings tonight. And turning off the lights while I was still in the dressing room, well that was just rude. So don't be surprised that I didn't give you my usual cheery post-workout wave. Bitch.
Dear adolescent punk who was walking down ninth tonight;
I'm sure that the two girls you were with thought it was very funny when you pretended to dart out in front of my car, causing me to slam on my brakes. They probably would have been more impressed if I had actually swerved into oncoming traffic and hit another car. So keep practicing. And hopefully someday someone won't be paying attention and you'll become someone's new hood ornament.