Thursday, July 31, 2008


Dear Curves evening-shift girl;

I know that if no one comes in after 7:00 that you can close early at 7:30 pm. I am sorry that I had the nerve to come in at 7:15 and work out for my full half an hour. I am sure you must have been anxious to get home to your leftover pizza and reality tv. But even though I was the only person working out, you are technically supposed to be open until 8:00 pm. Sighing dramatically and looking longingly at the clock will not make me leave any faster. Actually, just for you, I took an extra long time stretching out my hamstrings tonight. And turning off the lights while I was still in the dressing room, well that was just rude. So don't be surprised that I didn't give you my usual cheery post-workout wave. Bitch.

Dear adolescent punk who was walking down ninth tonight;

I'm sure that the two girls you were with thought it was very funny when you pretended to dart out in front of my car, causing me to slam on my brakes. They probably would have been more impressed if I had actually swerved into oncoming traffic and hit another car. So keep practicing. And hopefully someday someone won't be paying attention and you'll become someone's new hood ornament.



Ash said...

Dear Person who Quits with No Notice:

Thank you so much for your consideration. As you can imagine, I am very pleased to find a babysitter on short notice so that I can cover your shift and not spend time with my kids. I especially liked that you just e-mailed that you weren't ever showing up again in a week when I was already short staffed because of people taking vacation time. I am also very happy that the law forbids me from withholding your paycheque. Don't take this the wrong way, but if I come across you begging on a street corner in a few years because karma caught up with you, I won't give you a single dime. In fact, you may even see a satisfied smile. Selfish bitch.


Thanks, Violette. That was very therapeutic.

Oh, and that coworker of yours that passed through my town - she did say hi for you. Hi to you too!

Violette said...

Ha ha. It's good to vent, isn't it? I'm glad she remembered to say hi!